My mission in life is to inspire. To help other open their eyes to a new way of thinking. I knew I would never be the type of person who would want a normal 9-5 job. It was never in my mind. Through writing, I found out that I love telling stories and sharing ideas with others. When I learned that I wouldn't always have to talk; I knew it was something I would love forever. 

   Although I am not very verbal, I never my mind was way louder than I could ever be. I want to be remember for my passion and my heart. I want my friends and family to think of me and smile. I want them to remember that I love them and I would do anything for my family and friends. I want them to remember that each of my stories have hidden piece of myself inside of them. They are a piece and I was afraid to be myself. I accepted everything about myself as well as the fact that I could change myself nor another to fit because I did not want to fit in the mold that society created for me.

  I redefined the thought of a typical Hispanic and African American women. I broke the mold and let the stereotypes hold me back from living out my dream and loving myself as well as others. I wasn't afraid to be different and either should they. To be yourself is the greatest achievement that anyone can reach and that is one of life's biggest challenges. You should be yourself no matter what.

gratitude II

    When you are little, you always dream about what your early adulthood jobs would be like. Unfortunately nothing is ever exact the way you may plan. A week ago, at my job we had a big move for black Friday. The move included moving all the sale items from the stock room to the designated area in which our store manager wanted it to be placed. At first, I thought this project was going to be extremely hard because our elevators were not working and my store has four floors so the thought of bring up and down racks of products seemed to be impossible.

    By when we actually start to put the move into action it was way easier than I thought. By having a great team of staff to be able to move items from each floor it made the move that was originally thought to take over 7 hours to complete down to 4 in half hours to get done. I definitely that working as a team makes it easier for things to be done. Also that although things may appear to be extremely difficult it is actually the quiet opposite once you truly give it a try.

  Also I am truly grateful for the co-workers that I have because honestly I don't think we would have been able to truly complete the task without them. Also that working together and having great people around will truly help get things done as well as help you out when you truly need it and I will forever be grateful for all the people that I have in my life that will truly help me out no matter what.

mini stories

Story 1: 

    Surprisingly life has been going well. I never thought I could be living out my dreams. I smiled to myself as I see my twin boys playing on the rug in front of my desk. " Mommy, what are you doing?" I break my focus and see my three year old son,Micah staring back at me with his red train in his hand . " Just admiring my two little curly fries" Mateo, his twin brother rolls his eyes and Micah giggle as I come join them on the rug. Mateo leans his head on my shoulder as they start to show me how to play with their train track. This is what I always wanted; being able to share moments with the one that I love. Although I finally was brave enough to fully put myself out there in the writing world. These two curly headed boys was what I am truly grateful for. " Mommy, you can have the blue train." "Thank you Micah." I said as I took the train from him and start playing. I keep smiling as I watch their faces light up with joy as I hear my husband voice fill the air as he appears in the doorway. " Oh this is where my family ran off to you." The boys giggle as they run up to him. I smile to myself once more this is truly my dream come true.

Story 2: 

    Life always have twist and turns trust and believe me, I never thought this would be happening ,but unfortunately it is. I stare at the window as my husband pulls up to a familiar house. " Remember what I said.." " I know, I'm not stupid." I answer back as I rolled my eyes. " Don't be like that." " Be like what, opinionated." I stare at him. He doesn't say a word as I unlock the door and get out. I never thought I would be in this situation. But then again you never truly know what life will throw at you. I signed as I enter my mother's house. " Hello" I say as I hear faint music coming from the living room as I see my mother siting down with the siblings and their love ones. I greet them as I sit in the door on the couch with my nephews and nieces. They're all smiling and laughing as my husband comes in to join us. We make eye contact as he greets my brother.  I watch as my husband and my family interact with one and another. Only if they only knew what was really going on they would truly understand how I am feeling right. Nowadays I feel like I am living with a complete stranger. Although I know we love each other, his reaction to the news I told him was completely has me confused on how to feel about him anymore. " So, how are you guys." My sister asks as she sit beside. " Were fine." " Nothing new?" She looks down and point at my stomach.I fold my arms as she whisper to me. " Omg you're." " Shh Kat." " Have you told mommy?" I nod. " Then why didn't tell me." " It's nothing too big Kat." " Too big youre having a baby that's beyond huge." She yells as everyone else lands on me. " Your'e pregnant, omg congrats Ty" I stare at my family then my husband as I get up and leave the room. I hear them whisper what wrong as I go into the bathroom. I sit on the floor as I hear a faint knock on the door. " Tyra.." my husband  says as he opens the door. He closes the door softly as he joins me on the floor. " I know you mad at me..but " "But.. what? Am I suppose be happy that my husband didn't say a word when I broke the news that I was pregnant." He leaned into grab my hand as I pulled away. " No." " I'm sorry the way I acted was stupid and I love you more than anything. You and this baby is the best thing that I have." He touched my hand as he pulled me into a hug. " Don't ever forget that, I love you and our baby." We sat their on the floor for a while, this what truly matter.  Not the money or some type of materialistic item. What matter was how much we loved each other and nothing else could matter more.

Story 3: 

  Life is crazy and I never thought that life would turn out the way it did. No I didn't become a writer, I actually became something even bigger. I started my youtube channel a few years back and never post anything for years until that one video. I never thought my life would changes so quickly. Thanks to that one video it changed my life. I fell in love with creativity years ago and being able to share my love with the world is beyond amazing. I never thought my life would turn out like this. Although writing has been put on the backburner, it is still something I love. I smile to myself as I hear my husband voice as I feel his arm wrap itself around my waist. " What is my wife making now?" He chuckles as a little as he kisses the side of my head. " I'm just fooling around." I smile as I turn around and face him. " Where's the boys?" " Sleeping, something my pregnant wife should be doing also." He smiles as he places his hand on my stomach. " I'm not tired." He chuckles again as I fake pout as he grabs my hand leads me towards our bedroom. Although my life is nothing how I planned, I still ultimately got what I wanted. Family is what truly matter to me and I am grateful that I was finally able to have my own family and to be with the ones I love. I smiled to myself one last time as I lay down on my bed with my husband. This all I ever wanted and more. Just simply by being happy.

future.

my passion.

       The thing I am most passionate about in life is writing. Writing is a way for me to express myself. I am not a verbal person so I rather express myself through words. I love the idea of being able to connect with someone through writing and also to not only entertain them with my imagination. Writing is what makes me truly happy and being a writer is the only career I can see myself having.
    Writing is my passion and it is something that truly enjoy. I decide to become a writer back in eight grade, it has been my only plan for the rest of my life ever since then. I can not imagine myself in other career. It is the only career I want and know that I will truly enjoy having. When I thought about what I wanted to be when I was younger; I knew I wanted to find a passion that I truly enjoyed and transform that in a career where I would love my job in the end.

    To a writer, there is not really amount of schooling that you have to have to be able to be a storyteller. A lot of famous authors had little schooling ,but when it came to my future I knew I wanted to be a master at my craft and to learn new ideas and structures that will help as I continue with my storytelling. The only field of writing, I can see myself truly enjoying is being an author. I have a huge imagination and I can not imagine myself chasing down a story for the latest magazine or news broadcast. Although I do admire journalism and the amount of effort one must put in to have a solid story or cover; I can not imagine myself working in that field. My writing is more based off my emotion and have hidden meaning within the pages. Also the idea of being to connect with someone's heart and mind is something else that also drives me to tell stories. Also that when writing stories, you can leave a piece of yourself in the story even if the main idea of the story is fiction. You can truly connect with the reader and take them on a new adventure that will help them reincarnate the child within them that they thought died so long ago. Writing is being a creator; being able to connect with every part of one's mind and truly express themselves through the art of writing. When I write it is a way of me to be completely myself; to have not be afraid and to be simply to think outside the box because sometimes the things that seem the most impossible are actually possible when you truly believe.

Gratitude

  Sometimes we are so blessed that we tend to start to forget how luck we are. Although these things seem so simply; they' are the same things that so many other people that do not have. A few things that I tend to take for granted is the fact that I barely have to pay bills, sometimes I forget how hard my mother works and how lucky I am that I do not have a parent who insist that her older children have to pay rent or pay for the electric bill or something else of that nature. Although I do give her money when needed, she never asks me or my siblings for nothing and that is something my siblings and I should be truly grateful for but I know we all tend to forget.
   I am truly grateful for my family, we are all very close and that is what my mother always wanted. I know that no matter may happen in life they will be there for me and help me out if I need them. One person in particular that I am grateful for is my nephew Jayden; He is truly my inspiration and he is my little reminder that dreams do in fact come true. Also he thinks I am like the coolest person on the planet and that also kind of cool that he thinks that.
  Also things that I can absorb more is living in the moment. I think since technology has grown and became so highly use by basically everyone. Nowadays we do not really know how to live without wanting to record it all and share it with the world. Technology has became a part of our everyday lives and we barely know how to function without tweeting, snapping, facebooking,and  instantgraming our lives.By living in the moment more I would have a better appreciate of the world and what is truly important. I think if we do that more we would enjoy what matters and will make memories that we would remember for a lifetime. Although being able to capture memories is amazing, we should also enjoy living in the moment in which they are happening.

a week of stress.

 
This week has been so stressful and I don't understand why. I actually had a schedule for this week surprisingly, I was going to work Monday, Wednesday and Thursday even though I am only normally schedule for short shifts during the week ,but for some reason I decided to be darning and boy was I wrong for doing so. Last Sunday I did the unthinkable well for me at least. I worked a ten hour shift, 7:30 am-7:30 pm. The shift actually went by very fast and I actually had fun at work on my shift ,but when I decided to continues the rest of my week doing the same thing I was completely wrong.

 I shouldn't have not decide to do the same thing, my whole body is hating me right now although I was able to get all my work done and I know that my next pay check will be more than worth it ,but still my body is definitely telling me that next time when I decide to do crazy shifts I have to think about the affect it may have on my body. Also this week made me truly miss being a kid and only having to worry about homework and not having to worry about having a job.

   I truly miss that. That was definitely amazing just being able to sleep in on weeks and not being an adult, but then again nothing last forever and sometimes we all just need a goodnight's rest as well as being able to relax. But then again no one said growing up was a smooth ride. 

Blessing In Disguise

       Nearly eight years, I forced to moved from my childhood home to the sunshine states. My first reaction was complete denial. At thirteen, this would be the first time I moved in my life. I remember the exact moment when my mother told me and the faint chuckle slip from my lips as I stared at her and siblings in complete shock. She was taking me from my home and throwing completely out of my comfort zone and I was completely terrified.
 
            As soon as we got there, there was a completely cultural shock. I was completely out of my comfort zone and my first thought was that I simply wanted to go home. My first day at my new school, I felt like an rainbow fish in a sea of goldfish. Everyone knew each other for years then there was me, the new girl. I was so use to being someone's little sister and starting school with my friends being in a new state and new school make me so nervous that I felt like I was going to pass out. My first day was so weird to me, I remember being completely nervous and scared that I would be siting by my seat in bathroom during lunch because I wouldn't know anyone. I missed my old friends so much and I remember texting my sister and telling her I wished that she was here with me.

    I remember taking a deep breathe and going to my computer class. As soon as I walked all eyes went on me and I froze. I absolutely hate when all eyes on me. I sighed to myself as the teacher directed me to my seat. As soon as I sat down I remember getting a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around quickly. " I love your shoe" A dark skinned girl with a bright white smile said. I smiled back as I said thank you. " I'm Cynthia by the way." I smiled again as I answered back with mine. I chuckle to myself now because weirdly Cynthia has became to one of my closest friends until this day and we met on my first day of my middle school. It is so strange how things works out and how sometimes things happen when you lease expected it. My move to Florida from Boston was scaring , but by doing it I have gained a lot of amazing friends and I am truly grateful for them.

Life Changes.

    Overtime we experiences life changes that ultimately change the way we view life.  Nearly eight years ago, I found out that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. The way I found out was by being your typical nosy preteen who loves to go through their mother's closet. There it was clear as day, a bright pink pamphlet with those twelve letters in plain slight; my eyes filled with tears as my mouth went completely dry as my mind tried to process of what I have found. That was the moment when I truly realized that we won't be on this planet forever, there will be a time when your mother's voice will become a faint memory and the taste of vanilla ice cream will no longer be on the tip of your tongue. "Nothing lasts forever " a saying you always hear. As a child you always hear these things ,but its not until you truly experience something to truly know that this little saying is indeed true. It took me a while to truly process that one day my mother wouldn't be here and my first instance was to cry ,but it also made it start to question life as a whole. 

   Out of all the mother's in the world, why mine? What made my mother so rare that this happened to her? These questions taunted me for the rest of the year and even after her last radiation treatment and although she go the green light saying that she was in the clear. I still wondered what was the purpose of this event? Not longer after I found myself and the rest of my family being tossed into a new environment. My mother moved us from our family home in Boston to Orlando to be reunited with my brother and my father. Although things didn't go how she planned out a few things did actually come out the move. One, I actually ended up meeting a great group of friends and although I do not still live in Florida anymore; I can honestly says I meet a few of the best and talented people and I'm truly grateful for that.

    Also my thought on love truly got a meaning and I know what your thinking, what lucky guy caught my eye. The lucky guy was my nephew Jayden. His birth completely changed me and my family's lives. He truly a give a gift from above. In a way, he was my new hope. He honestly gave us a new view on life and reminds us that good things also happen. With the good and the bad, he is a remind that there is good left in the world and not to linger on to the negative. I can honestly say I love that little boy with everything in me and he is the reason why I still believe in miracles and that the world isn't fully bad.

 Over the past twenty years of my life, I learned that life will always throw you in situations when you least expected it. Life is full will surprises and you have to roll with the punches even if you don't want to. You're just going to have to deal.

Power over me.

   

    The most powerful thing one can do for oneself is to own everything about them; the beautiful qualities as well as the many faults that they have. My power comes from within and it has became my strength. Honestly my power is not caring what others think of me and not allowing others opinions of how I view things stop me from how I live my life.
      As a child, its very common to want to fit. I use to want to be just like everyone else and I utterly wanted to fit in the world's view of beauty. I used to believe that I wasn't pretty enough, I even remember praying and begging for bone straight hair. I hated my hair for a long period of my life, although it was long it wasn't "straight" enough like the women I seen on TV. I tired so many different things for while to make my "imperfection" better. It is so weird talking about it, I don't ever talk about situations where I have no control over it. My hair wasn't the only thing about I hated for a period of my life, I also hated my bust size. As a per-teen I developed faster compared the other girls in my grade. I remember overhearing conversations saying that I stuffed my bra or that I was trying to get attention. I remember crying to my mother about it. The sound of her laughter always fills my ears when I look back to that day. " Women pay thousands of dollars to get what God gave you naturally, so if these dumb little haters are keep bothering you, tell me just that." This conversation has stayed in the back of mind for over ten years now and I always chuckle to myself when people mention or comment on how small of person I am although I have a larger bust compared to most that are also my size. My mother made me realize that I can not change how I am.
          Although I was trying to manipulate the texture of my hair before, I wasn't doing it because I prefer straight hair, I was trying to hide my natural curls because society labeled it as not "beautiful". I use to spend so many hours trying to hide myself whether it was trying to straighten my hair or trying to find a larger sweater in my brother's closet so you notice my bust size. I can honestly say it wasn't until I was seventeen when I stopped caring what others thought and stopped trying to fit in the mold that society had created how I was supposed to look. I stopped caring so much about how others would view me and started to learn to love myself for being just me.  Honestly that's when I took my power back, although we barely notice it society has a huge role on how we may view things and we tend to try to fit in the mold that society has rather than stand out be ourselves. Its not until we realize that we are losing ourselves because it. That's the moment we are able take back the power that we gave away so many years ago.
   My power is being myself and not being ashamed of it even if "society" doesn't agree.

Power over me.

I'm falling again.
I can hear their voices surrounding me.
Their yelling, they want me to allow them back in.
No.. don't
I say to myself.
Don't allow them to control you again.
No you don't have to do that.
You do not have to be the way they want you to be.
You're perfect.
You may be different and not fit the mold that lies in front of you.
But that's what makes you perfect.
You don't fit.
You don't settle for the things like they do.
So don't let them stop you now.
You got this.Keep going.
They can't hurt you anymore.

Nor can they stop you.
I take a deep breathe.
And I chuckle to myself.
I have a greatest power.
And I'm the only person who has power over me.
Simply because I am myself.

Thank you.

          First off, I wanted to say thank you mum. Thank you for everything you have done for me in these past twenty one years. I have learned so much from you and sometimes its when you don't even say a word.
    Thank you, for being there and being a positive influence in my life. You are the humblest person I know and I admire that you are able to put your family before everything. You always are willing to put others's feelings ahead of yours. You have shown me that being passionate and focus about your future is important. Also that hard work and determination will help you success in life simply because you never gave up on yourself nor the ones around you.
  You have changed my life in so many different ways. You have shown me that I can use my passion for writing and make a living out of it. You always told me that I could do anything as long as I believe in myself and I truly love you for it. You are so caring and loving and I truly how that I can past on all your lessons that you have shown me and told me about to my own children one day.
  I use to be so insecure and unsure of myself. To me I never felt good enough for anyone ,but you changed that. You told me that I was beautiful and intelligent; I could whatever I wanted if I believed in myself. You told me to not compare myself to others because I was my own person and that was my gift. I wasn't like everyone else and couldn't ever be simply because I was me. I was seven when you said this and fourteen years later I always keep this in the back of my mind.
 There are not enough words in the dictionary to sum up how much you mean to me and so I will say it again thank you, thank you so much mum. I love you more than you know.


-Thanks Mum. I love you.

Who is Browngrl?

        My name is Tyra, I was named after the highly known supermodel and socialite Tyra Banks. My name was given to actually by my siblings while my middle name was given to me because my mother was highly obsessed with Danielle Steele books. I come from a mixed household, my mother is Dominican while my father is Jamaican. Which makes me both African American and Latina. I have lived in Boston most of my life. I lived in Kissimmee, Fl for two in half years and utterly hated it and I am so glad I'm back up north.

    Writing is my passion. I utterly love the way it makes me when I capture other's minds through my writing. I also play the piano in which I have been playing since I was eight. Art and music is a huge part of my life and I truly enjoy going to museums and concerts. I also love fashion, I obsessed with Ana Wintour and Channel. One day I hope to go to fashion week and write an article for vogue. 
    
    A way to describe me is creative. I like to think outside the box and I'm not afraid to take risk. Also I am very bubbly and determine. My bubbliness tend to come out in person as well as my funnier and cheerful pieces. As my determination is highly shown throughout everything. I believe that a person can do anything they want to as long as they willing work for it and not to give up on their self no matter.