Power over me.

   

    The most powerful thing one can do for oneself is to own everything about them; the beautiful qualities as well as the many faults that they have. My power comes from within and it has became my strength. Honestly my power is not caring what others think of me and not allowing others opinions of how I view things stop me from how I live my life.
      As a child, its very common to want to fit. I use to want to be just like everyone else and I utterly wanted to fit in the world's view of beauty. I used to believe that I wasn't pretty enough, I even remember praying and begging for bone straight hair. I hated my hair for a long period of my life, although it was long it wasn't "straight" enough like the women I seen on TV. I tired so many different things for while to make my "imperfection" better. It is so weird talking about it, I don't ever talk about situations where I have no control over it. My hair wasn't the only thing about I hated for a period of my life, I also hated my bust size. As a per-teen I developed faster compared the other girls in my grade. I remember overhearing conversations saying that I stuffed my bra or that I was trying to get attention. I remember crying to my mother about it. The sound of her laughter always fills my ears when I look back to that day. " Women pay thousands of dollars to get what God gave you naturally, so if these dumb little haters are keep bothering you, tell me just that." This conversation has stayed in the back of mind for over ten years now and I always chuckle to myself when people mention or comment on how small of person I am although I have a larger bust compared to most that are also my size. My mother made me realize that I can not change how I am.
          Although I was trying to manipulate the texture of my hair before, I wasn't doing it because I prefer straight hair, I was trying to hide my natural curls because society labeled it as not "beautiful". I use to spend so many hours trying to hide myself whether it was trying to straighten my hair or trying to find a larger sweater in my brother's closet so you notice my bust size. I can honestly say it wasn't until I was seventeen when I stopped caring what others thought and stopped trying to fit in the mold that society had created how I was supposed to look. I stopped caring so much about how others would view me and started to learn to love myself for being just me.  Honestly that's when I took my power back, although we barely notice it society has a huge role on how we may view things and we tend to try to fit in the mold that society has rather than stand out be ourselves. Its not until we realize that we are losing ourselves because it. That's the moment we are able take back the power that we gave away so many years ago.
   My power is being myself and not being ashamed of it even if "society" doesn't agree.

Power over me.

I'm falling again.
I can hear their voices surrounding me.
Their yelling, they want me to allow them back in.
No.. don't
I say to myself.
Don't allow them to control you again.
No you don't have to do that.
You do not have to be the way they want you to be.
You're perfect.
You may be different and not fit the mold that lies in front of you.
But that's what makes you perfect.
You don't fit.
You don't settle for the things like they do.
So don't let them stop you now.
You got this.Keep going.
They can't hurt you anymore.

Nor can they stop you.
I take a deep breathe.
And I chuckle to myself.
I have a greatest power.
And I'm the only person who has power over me.
Simply because I am myself.